I should be in bed, but Anna and I are talking about me goin to Six Flags tomorrow. I bought a swim suit just for it. It was a bikini, but I felt fat when I tried on the top.. so I got one that covers my fat..and then regretted it. I'm supposed to be getting stronger, so why do I feel so weak?
I'm scared I won't eat tomorrow, but I'm too proud to ask someone to remind me to eat. I don't wanna freak everyone out by passing out, but I don't trust myself with food. Period. Maybe I should and that will be one way to get better, but I'm scared. Scared of being fat again, scared of food, scared of not eating, scared of eating, scared, scared, scared.
Thank you, Zette. I really hope I can get used to a higher intake. Maybe I'll lower it and every week raise it a hundred calories.
Rachael, I dunno what they were. I never made not eating an obvious thing to them. It was just...everyone was standing really close to me while I was trying to get food and my little brother was throwing a fit because I only had a small salad and he had a huge sandwich, but it was unfair that I got to eat pizza also..so I threw my Alex-fit and went to eat.
Again, thank you all for supporting me. I'll need it!
With this I am going to head to bed. Goodnight.
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