Gym

Today, I was showed how to use the cardio machines at the gym. This means I can now walk in there, with my mom, and use them. This is treadmill,  those bicycle ones, and the stair-y ones. I'm excited! Seriously.
 Also, my friend Anna is really excited. We have a whole forty views. I know that's not much, but considering how just off the wall the video is, I'd say it's great. Most of our views come from North America, obviously. But thank you ALL for the support. It means a lot to her and me. I'll be posting a video as soon as I get my video camera.
So, I spent, like, two nights at Anna's house. It was... cool. Got hit, on accident, with a fire cracker.. It hurt. Haven't been eating much recently, but I need to. See, Miss Cassie has me striving to be health. For her. Because, well, I'm totally in love with this girl.
Oh! On that note, Cassie told me the night she stayed here, which was like the second of July, I think, that her sun used to rise and set with me.
I, being the hypocrite I am, told her to never let someone rule her life, even if she thinks she loves them. I love her, wholely and completely...and I let that run me.When she says eat, I ask how much. When she says don't cut, I swear to never do it. When she kissed my cheek, I could tell you I was in heaven. When she said that sleeping by me was a mistake, it was hell. She tore out my heart and threw it on the floor without even knowing it.
I have a notebook full of things I'm terrified to tell her.
Like how I'm scared to lose her because I'll feel completely alone again.
With her, my heart goes pitter-patter and I can't seem to make it stop.
Yeah, she told me the best night I've had in a long time was a mistake to her. I can't see it that way. Yes, I'm torn up, feel like cuddling everyone, want to cry, and spent the whole night wanting to kiss her, but I don't see it as a mistake. We talked all night. I kissed her forehead. Fuck it all, I fell FACE FIRST in love with her...AGAIN. Her heart skipped beats. All the suppressed feelings she had for me began to bubble up. Only...she told me straight up that she wouldn't date a girl.
Funny, isn't it? I'm fuckin willing to dedicate my life to her, have a long distance relationship (if it's with her), wait hours for her texts, want to cry myself to sleep, all of these things. She won't date a girl, though. She swears that she's straight, but GOD DAMN IT! it felt good to hold her. It felt so freaking right.
Uhm. Wow. This post is embarrassing.


Lottie, I totally forgot you weren't American until you commented on our accents. And my bed doesn't usually look like that. The mattress is actually in another room because of Cassie and Anna both sleeping over. Haha


P.S. I want hair like that last chickie. It's pretty.