Sorry about the blank post.

I tried to post from my mobile internet and it...became blank. I don't remember why I was posting, but I'll come up with a new reason.
I dreamed I was my crush's (who we'll get letters to soon) girlfriend. I spent most of the dream tucked under his arm. I loved it. Not gonna happen if I keep eating TWO SLICES of stuffed crust pizza. Probably won't happen at all.

My hair is now black. See? Stolen straight from my FB account. This is me, Black hair, 129 pounds huge.
I probably had the same calories as a "normal" person who watches what they eat (probably like 1300, icckky). Blaming it on the fact that Anna was here.
OH! I hung out with Cassie yesterday. And my crush who isn't named. I hung out with my crushes. <3
And I've decided. I'm done eating "normally" and panicking over weight gain, even though I know I'm "healthy". I wanna stand and be dizzy. I wanna drop pounds like they're...Something. Haha. I've always been happier hungrier. If I stop now, I'll never hit 120. I'll got back to 150 or 170 or HIGHER. I'll never be 120, 114, 110. I'll never feel collar bones, ribs. I'll never lose that baby face I have. I'll... Well, I'll be stunted in the things I can do!
So, I'm taking away one thing. Eating normally. From now on, I'll never have more than 500 calories. I'll have breakfast (starts the metabolism) and maybe dinner. No snacks. If I can help it, no lunch. I need (want) to drop weight, to enter my second year of high school being no more than 120 pounds. Meaning 120 or lower by the end of summer (August 16). Fuckin' doable. If not, I'm pitiful.

Lottie: That's a good question. Why would I want to hurt myself? It makes me happy. Which is, you know, twisted. To feel that pain in my stomach, on my legs, my wrists, where ever the pain has decided to be, makes me smile. Today, I've decided I may as well be productive if I'm gonna find a way to hurt myself. And I always picture myself thinner. I always picture myself as that chickie who, when I walk by, people turn and stare because they have to make sure that the thing that just went by wasn't a ghost, but keep staring because they're A) jealous or B) imaging me being their girlfriend. I think most gals what that, but I'm out to GET IT.

Americaneagle: I am SO sorry I made you worry. I was gonna delete it and thought "No, no one will think anything of it" and I'm sorry I was wrong and made you worry.AND HO MY GOSH! I'll super miss you. =(