And I'm already posting. I'm still tired. Had TWO nightmares last night and after the second one I couldn't sleep. While I was dreaming it, it wasn't a "THIS IS SCARY" dream. Apparently it bothered me, though.So, I'm planning about 300 calories today. I just need that losing weight feeling. I need that "If I push on the ground too hard, I'll fly" feeling.
Yes. I want to be so light.
When did this start again? I don't remember. I think I needed some control with J.P. and it just appeared...but that's not a when.
Now, though, it's a "I just...need to feel this" and, yep, it's twisted.
Now, it's a need. A need to see ribs, to fit into a size 1, to go to the pool and everyone be jealous, a need to dance in the rain and look cute. A need to not feel like a fat whale. I know I'm not, but I feel like I am.
Alright, I'm gonna try to go back to sleep.
Lottie: Oh my gosh, I'm sorry I made you cry. =(
Hope you sleep better and don't have another nightmare :)
ReplyDeleteIt's raining outside and I desperately want to dance in it, but I feel huge :'(
Although its hard, I hope you feel better about yourself soon :)
Lottie x