I've only had one meal...and few snacks.

I'm guessing I'm under 800, at the most.
Really, I don't know what's up anymore. Where's down? How am I?
Am I healthy? Am I ill?
Should I be taking these pills (the drugs they put me on)? Should I let them go?

My wrist is terribly scarred. My right one feels left out.
Am I really alive?
Or is this a trick?
Is this really my heartbeat? Or is it yours?
To seem more sane, I'm going to tell facts.
Cassie told me she worries she's gay or bi...everyday.
She said she'd hate herself if she was.
I cried.
It felt like someone was ripping out my soul.
It's because, the reason she worries, is because she had a crush on me...in the past.
I told her to forget it if it was such a problem.

I told her to think of things that made her happy, let me worry about the shit that slits throats if you don't worry about it.
I told her it was awful to hate yourself based on which gender you're attracted to.
My heart broke.
Yet I was reminded why I say I love her.
She makes me feel. Period.
No one makes me feel as much as she can.
Next time I see her, I'll want to kiss her.
I know because  I wanted to the last time.
But I'll restrain. Because she's Cassie and she's straight. And she'll never be mine. Because life is like that.

Life hates me sometimes.

Kes: I don't really care that your comment was really long. It made me feel less alone. It was awesome. ^^