Hungry... maybe...

I tell myself, if I can deny the fact that I've only had 122.5 calories all day. From 6:30 this morning until 3:30 this afternoon. With an epically long nap from 11ish to 2:30ish.
In Driver's Training, I got so many compliments about my hair. They were mainly from not-that-close friends who probably felt like they had to say something. It's too short, makes me look boyish,but when I feel how soft and fluffy it is, well, that might make everything worth it.
Haven't weighed myself.
Let me clarify my rant from last night.
J.R. makes me want to hurt myself because I want to hurt him, but realize nothing will change if I hurt him. The scars left on me might make him think twice before he say something like that to someone else. He told me I'm better off dead when we were arguing and J.P. was making me seem like an awful person. J.R. isn't really a bad person, he's just useable. Too bad for him he said somethings to me that make me literally scared of him, even if he never threatened me.
Then I told Anna I was in that kind of mood. So she continued on about how he was drunk texting her and then "Oh the wonder a shower and cup of coffee can work" and how he sobered up a little, at least enough to text right.

Sorry for swearing in my last post. I was just so frustrated. They're size 3 shorts...and I can't even button them. Most people would shrug this off, think something like "Maybe I just have large hipbones" or even "Maybe this brand just makes their shorts small" but I do not. I think "Damn I'm fat" and choke back tears. I've worked so hard, but it's not enough. Not yet.
Also, this post has couple pictures because I wanna feel loved sometime.
 Oh, in July, I am giving up junk food with Anna. I'm thinking about giving up cutting and burning at the same time, not that I've told anyone but you guys.

Kes: I wanna get snake bites or angel bites done. And I'd have to have a friend do it for me or do it myself. I would love to have it done by a pro, but I would have to have my parents, who are completely against it, take me, which wouldn't happen. Thank you for believing I'm strong. It means a lot that I can have people believe that.

Gianni: Thank you. I haven't been able to quit yet, but I'm hoping I can. I can see my future without it, so that makes me want to. Sadly, I don't think I'd be able to buy anything off eBay without my parent's knowledge.

lissa: Scars do suck. Especially if you have to come up with an explanation as to why you have so many because, unless you held onto a really ticked off cat, you can't have that many cat scratches. And thank you for reminding me that it's ONLY ten pounds. For some reason it seems larger and like it'll take forever when I think about it.


P.S. I have summer goals which I'll post...somewhere. Haha. Keep an eye out for that.
P.S.S. I announced to my parents the other day that I wanna be an actress. I don't know if that's true, but it sounds fun.